I really don't think anybody looks at my blog. But if somebody did in the past week or so they would have received the message that it is a private blog. This is no longer the case.
You see there are unscrupulous people out there that Spam blogs with unwanted (to be nice) comments. The blog was hit so I made it private until I could at least clean things up.
Why is it that all crooks, when they get caught, claim they want to crusade against other crooks committing the same crime they did. Basso is on the same level as a street gang banger that finally gets caught and then claims he wants to help "kids" stay out of gangs. In some instances these jail house conversions may be genuine but the vast majority of the time they are conversions of convenience; appeasing prosecutors, judges and in this case fans and sponsors who have paid him millions.
On a sad note it is getting harder and harder for me to stay committed that Lance Armstrong was the only clean guy out there. It's my understanding that Lance Armstrong has urine samples dating back years. I think it is time for the guy at the top to stand up and prove himself. He owes it to millions who have bought into his story.
'Basso said, 'The moment has come for me to assume my responsibilities. I only hope that I will be understood,'' Martelli said, adding the rider would 'plan his future around the fight against doping.'
Source: Basso Said Admits Role in Doping Scandal
OK, so I have trouble staying focused. If somebody isn't directing me all the time I will get distracted and end up who knows doing what. When Awesome chick comes home at night unless I keep careful notes about my day, or keep recording in a digital voice recorder she got me I won't remember anything. So, my therapists came up with a plan.Awesome Chick puts a list of things I'm to do every day on a white board. When that list is complete, then I get to do things just for fun, like get on the computer and blog. This is a good system for me because it gives me as much structure as I can get when I'm by myself and it helps out Awesome Chick because I'm more consistent about getting things done that help her out.So today I look at my list! Dust and vacuum our bedroom, OK. Sweep and mop the hardwood floors, CHECK. Clean 4 toilets... WHAT??? Hold everything! I'm sure I've seen somewhere in the Americans With Disabilities Act that toilet cleaning is strictly out of the question. I know I've seen the ACLU win case after case where disabled people did not have to clean toilets. I just know Congress passed a law about it. First my Neurologist refused to list doing dishes and housework as official restrictions for me and now this!Oh well, it guess I'll survive. By the way; since I'm writing this and I don't get to get on the computer unless my list is complete I can assure everyone that our bedroom is dusted and vacuumed, the hardwood floors have been swept and moped and yes we have four sparkling clean toilets.
March 3 2007
Or at least he was.... Pain is back today. Just testing the waters really, but I feel him there I don't know what roused him, maybe it was my ride outside yesterday, maybe it was the fact I had some wine last night but I pray he goes back to sleep. Why would I feel pain inside my chest, legs, neck head, arms if he wasn't waking up, begriming to move within the nerves of my body?
March 7, 2007 - Today
Hey I'm loving this! I have felt great the last few days. After the 3rd things got better fast. I think it is because of my cycling. If I am moving around I'm doing good. I have to keep things in perspective though. I've been through this before. I can feel great for a few days and then I'm blasted for a week. We'll see, for now I'm going to go on as if I will never be sick again.
Α&Ω
Well it seems that Pain exhausted himself as much as he did me. Today was not too bad. I went to the Dr. yesterday. Of course the answer is more drugs. The drugs that work best are expensive and the insurance companies won't let me use, or use so sparingly it is almost a tease. Other drugs, like hard narcotics, are cheap and the insurance company will allow boat loads of those. I don't take them that much though; only 3 or 4 times per week; more than that and they tear up my insides as much as the pain tears up the rest of me.
My friend was close by my side today. He was winding his way through my back, my neck, my head and my eyes. He was especially angry, and when he is he is efficient and merciless at what he provides to me. His offerings are so abundant that he, Pain, literally overflows and cannot be contained by me. When pain overflowed from within me today he became confusion and anxiety. How can I explain being so overwhelmed that I don't recognize familiar places, I am exhausted and wanting sleep but Pain keeps me between the sweetness and comfort of sleep and the full awareness that he is crawling through my body angrily setting nerves on fire.
Today Pain performed with such expertise he even struck fear into the heart of his accomplice, Nausea. Even the powerful and debilitating nausea dare not show his face when Pain, is slithering wild and unabated through the synopses of my body. Even Nausea, his dear and close companion dare not tread on the purity of Pains exquisite work. Pain is master, pain is king. Only the Lord of Hosts will he bow down to. Only the Lord of Hosts can turn him to the infinite nothingness that he will one day become when I am free of him. But today, today my sweet Lord and my God, the Lord of Hosts has chosen to allow the demon to run free.
I guess I have to start writing about my Pain. I have my wife, kids, family and friends I can count on. But my Pain is my constant companion. It is the one that never leaves me alone even for a moment. I am never by myself thanks to my companion, my Pain. When my Pain needs company I cannot provide it overwhelms me like spoiled child demanding attention and gives birth to its sibling Nausea.
The last couple of days Pain has been demanding. He has surged as nerve pain from my head to my feet and back again. Sometimes he settles in my chest and moves along my esophagus and my collar bones and the back of my neck. He has called his sibling many times the last couple of days. Pain and Nausea have combined, faithful, constant and relentless companions of mine, my head ringing so bad it affects what I can hear.
Why these three companions have chosen to be so committed to me I don't know. And why does this commitment have so much determination to savage me.
