Award for President Clinton

I was never a fan of President Clinton when he was in office.  But it seems he has been doing some good since then.  This seems to be the presidential pattern.  A guy gets elected, then when he is out of office he does more good than when in office.

On thing I wonder though.  Why do the rich and powerful seem to think that solving problems around the world are more important than solving the problems we have here at home?  Granted, even the poor in our country live like kings compared to the ' real poor' in other countries but sometimes I suspect the actions of the rich and powerful are more for the publicity impact.  I'm not thinking of president Clinton here, I'm thinking mostly of the entertainment people who think adopting a child in another country rather than one her is more selfless or something.

 

I do not accept

I don't think I will ever accept that I had a stroke. In fact I make an effort to not accept it.  I know some people say they only look forward and that they don't look back. I won’t do that.  Just like when I was tired of being a butcher I didn’t accept that.  I did something about it and got through school and became a Software Engineer.  In life acceptance to often is an excuse for stagnation, for doing nothing.

 

I wasn't the only one there before the thief in the night, my first stroke, slithered into my life.  So, so, so many people had helped me get to where I was in my life and helped me make my life what it had become.  Everybody from my wife, my kids, and all the rest of my family and friends to teachers, counselors and even those people I I disliked or didn’t have a lot in common with.  All were partly responsible for who I was.

 

For me to say, 'I accept what happened, the past is past and I'm only looking forward, never back' is a slap in the face to each and every one of those people that helped me become who I was before the thief came. It is like saying, 'thanks for the effort everybody, but oh well.  Any future is equally as good as the last or the next’.

 
Hey I'm doing great. I have ups and downs. Sometimes I don’t think I can take another day and sometimes everything goes smooth as silk.  I'm carving out a life for myself. I'm growing and continuing my life but my past is there. Without a past there is no present, no future. To simply look forward and try to build a future, disregarding your past, is like trying to grow a fruit tree for food that has not roots.  You will quickly go hungry.

 

My strokes are there and they stole a lot from me and everybody around me. I will search for the reason like a hungry dog searching for a scrap of food. During that search; my life will continue to grow.  It will become what I and the people who are once again here for me, make of it. But no, I will never stop asking why and sit back in a Zen like or contemplative ‘false peace’.  I won’t get philosophical and giggly about “I don’t look back, always forward”. To be honest I don’t think a human person is really even capable of doing that. I think it is a lie for someone to claim it.  The reason I stroked is out there and it is going to be pursued.  Along the way my new life will rise out of my past by not denying my past.

Pelosi Visits Saudi Arabia's Council | World Latest | Guardian Unlimited

It would be wise for Speaker Pelosi to not push the issue of the lack of women in politics in Saudi Arabia. In the U.S. all the rage to think all peoples, belief systems, forms of government, religions, whatever are all the same and have equal merit. However, in Islamic countries in general and those under Sharia Law in particular that clearly cannot the case.

According to the the teaching of the Prophet Muhammad, as found in the Koran and Sharia Law which is enshrined in the Saudi Arabian Constitution, Speaker Pelosi has only half the worth of a man in society and since she is Catholic and a Kufar she should be killed. I have no doubt most of the Saudi men around her were thinking should keep her eyes down and mind her own business. (Qur'an 24:31)

"Asked if she raised the issue [of the lack no women in government] at Thursday's meeting with the council members, she said: ``The issue has been brought up in our discussions with the Saudis on
this trip.'' "

1. (Court testimony) "And call to witness, from among your men, two witnesses. And if two men be not found then a man and two women" Qur'an 2:82 [You see only the testimony of two women could take the place of the one man that could not be found.]
2. (Kufar - Unbelievers) "Now when ye meet in battle those who disbelieve [Kufar], then it is smiting of the necks until, when ye have routed them, then making fast of bonds" (Qur'an 47:4)

Pelosi Visits Saudi Arabia's Council World Latest Guardian Unlimited

Technorati tags: Nancy Pelosi

ADAM'S ALE: OF CROWN, MITERS, AND HOT DOGS

While not exactly denying His kingship, they instead ridicule His claim to kingship; make light of it, denying that it has any meaning. They do not listen or debate His ideas, they make fun of the man and destroy His message.

That is exactly what our Legislatures try do do here in Colorado every chance they get. Currently SB 124 is being pushed through our State Legislature and it will redefine what marriage in our state means. This is in direct conflict with Amendment 43 passed by the voters last November. In one of her typically elitist statements House Majority Leader Alice Madden, D-Boulder stated that Representative Kevin Lundberg, R-Larimer "did not live in the real world" because he opposed changing what marriage means and respecting the will of the people as expressed in the overwhelming passage of Amendment 43. I often wonder what "real world" Ms Madden lives in that allows her to change the will of the people simply at her whim and the with the support of her special interests.

Alice Von Hildebrand stated, “(Ridicule) was, for example, the poison tool used
against Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard, making him the butt of cruel
jokes. His noble message was doomed.”

I think Alice Madden would have been right at home with the soldiers as they crowned our Lord with thorns and destroyed His message.

ADAM'S ALE: OF CROWN, MITERS, AND HOT DOGS

Heavy Heart

A couple days ago I received an invitation to the Ordination of a very good friend of mine to the order of Catholic Deacon!

For Bill this is one of the greatest times and days of his life. It will rank up there with his marriage and the birth of his children. A new and exciting chapter is opening up in his and his family's life. It will be the culmination of over four years of intensive study and formation and a life time of preparation.

Here is the rub, why am I so sad, almost broken hearted?

Because I feel I spent the first 40 years of my life being called to be a Deacon for the Lord, in service to His Church. I spent two years going through a intense selection process just to be allowed into a 4 year formation program. I started the program with my heart full of confidence, commitment and love of the Lord and all his people.

I struggled the first year of formation mostly because my sister became gravely sick, I became her Guardian and Conservator and her teenage came came to live with us. A son that was heavily involved in drugs and gangs. A son that was kicked out of his school for threatening another teenager with a shotgun. A son that time after time brought drugs and gang bangers into our home. That is until we finally could take no more and when he snuck out of the house one night we literally barricaded the doors and windows to our home and then had all the locks changed.

Through all that my employer had me commuting between Phoenix Arizona and my home in Denver Colorado. But still I kept up my studies, did not miss classes and worked at my spiritual life. I went through every evaluation that the Diaconate Formation Board had and I scored top scores for every one.

Then after the first year, just before a retreat all the candidates were going to go on, I received a letter telling me not to go on the retreat and that I would not be asked back to continue the following year. No explanation, no thank you for attempting to give my life to the Church; just a don't show up now or in the future basically.

My heart and my faith have been ravaged by that for years. Now men that had become like brothers to me in a short period of time are about to be Ordained.

Since being told to leave formation I had my strokes, and lost the career I trained for for 9 years. Everything has become so hard. Tasks that used to take me minutes now take me hours if I can do them at all. At one time I looked forward to attempting formation again but I can barely learn at the pace of an elementary school student. There is no way I will ever be able to keep up with graduate level work.

Maybe my weakened and damaged faith is just committing the sins of jealousy, envy and pride. I was preparing to serve my God and His Church for the rest of my life. Right now I'm going to do therapy which includes tasks I haven't done since Elementary School. But yet I can't master them!

Technorati tags: Stroke Recovery, Stroke

Why I Ride

For me riding isn't about the pain like it is for a lot of cycling fanatics.  Sure I feel it and it is a part of my riding.  If at the end of a ride I have not felt at least some pain I feel like I should have ridden farther or harder.  But I also feel it is a great accomplishment if I can finish a long ride at a good pace and a few minutes later I feel like I could do it all over again.  To me that is a thrill.

Riding for me has also become about freedom, victory and recapturing the former me while building up the new me.  

Most importantly by riding and doing certain things I am beating to death that bastard stroke that 1 year, 5 months and 17 nights ago came like a low life 'thief in the night'.  Little did the thief know that by calling on me, it had 'bought the whole can of whoop-ass', not just a free sample for the taking.  It was not just taking me on; it had encountered an army of dedicated and fiercely loyal family, friends and medical professionals.

I can beat the crap out of the thief by doing things I did before it slithered into my life; before so much was stolen, for no reason at all.  I whip the thief by simply doing things as well as I can and not worrying about how I used to do them.

Riding is about freedom for several reasons.  One of those reasons is that I will probably never drive again.  I hope I will but some things are just as they are.  People whose mental processing is as slow as mine, have lost half their vision and whose brain has shifted the midline of the real world by many degrees, usually don't get licensed to drive a 2000 pound hunk of steel through neighborhood streets.   I have to rely on family and friends to get me around.  Someday when I want to do something simple like go to the grocery store I will simply get on my bike and go.  That day is actually pretty close; one more stake in the heart of that thief.

The Thief took so much of my memory that I don't even recognize my own neighborhood and house.  I have lived in my neighborhood for 46 years and I have gotten lost walking around in my home.  Thank God after a time I recognized my beautiful, wonderful wife and the rest of my family and friends; POW another stake driven into the heart of the thief.

My wife helps me 'memorize' bike routes by riding them over and over and drilling landmarks into my memory.  When I’m able to ride a memorized route alone, that is a victory over the thief.  When I was able to follow a list of directions and put a computer on my bike, even though it took me several hours and a couple of re-starts; that was a victory over the thief.  When I exercise and eat right so that chances of more strokes or heart decease are minimized that is a victory over the thief.  When my loved ones and friends spend less time worrying about my health and well being and living their lives to the fullest that is a victory over the thief. POW, POW, POW and POW four more stakes and more to come.

Cycling encourages me and helps me do all those things.  It is to the point where cycling affects everything from my diet and sleep to the cognitive therapy my therapists give me.  Cycling affects what I can go do and when I can go do it.  I have woven cycling into almost every aspect of my recovery and my life.

So now everyone has a bit of an idea of why I ride. 

P.S. Don’t worry if you see a red flare off in the distance. It just means that StrokeBoy took a wrong turn and is temporarily lost. Awesome Chick will release the bloodhounds and I’ll be found in no time.

 

Technorati tags: Stroke Recovery, National Stroke Association