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Monday, May 21, 2007

I guess I'm giving up!

I don't know if I have documented adequately the problems I've been having with my training for the MS-150. The entire thing can be paraphrased in one sentence; I have not been able to get on my bike since April 26th.

I may have mentioned pain in my left ankle, knee, hip and lower back in a previous post or two. Well it got so bad I couldn't even ride on my indoor trainer for more than 15 or 20 minutes!

I went to the guy who did my Lumbar Fusion in 2003. He thinks I have inflammation and possibly nerve damage in my Sacrum. He tells me that when the spine is fused as mine is at the lower Lumbar area it can no longer move in relation to the Sacrum as intended. He said even small changes in a persons gait can over time lead to inflammation and other damage. That could make sense. When I ride I usually ride at a cadence of 90 rpm. That means that in one 60 minute ride my legs revolve 5400 times.

Anyway I'm doing physical therapy now, taking anti inflammatory and using plenty of heat and ice. The bottom line though is I cannot get on my bike and I can only walk about 20 minutes per day. That is NOT where I needed to be by now in my training. I was shooting for 10 hours per week on my bike.

Facts are facts, I just have to accept the ones that tell me this is not going to be the victory I thought it was going to be in my recovery. As it turns out this is something else to recover from.

Catholic Culture : Library : A Closer Look at Centering Prayer

"Pope John Paul II has pointed out to the whole Church the example and doctrine of St. Teresa of Avila who in her life had to reject the temptation of certain methods which proposed a leaving aside of the humanity of Christ in favor of a vague self-immersion in the abyss of divinity. In a homily given on November 1, 1982, he said that the call of St. Teresa of Jesus advocating a prayer completely centered on Christ "is valid even in our day, against some methods of prayer which are not inspired by the gospel and which in practice tend to set Christ aside in preference for a mental void which makes no sense in Christianity. Any method of prayer is valid insofar as it is inspired by Christ and leads to Christ who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life"

I have just finished a fairly short experience with Centering Prayer. I was guided by the book Open Mind, Open Heart by Thomas Keating. I have had this book for years and began reading it recently. I was intrigued by how easy Fr. Keating made it seem to achieve contemplation and/or union with our Lord. I was disconcerted however about how thoughts of our Lord were eliminated by this type of prayer.

When my son was home from college recently I talked briefly with him about it. He presented me with the article I have linked below. Needless to say that as soon as I read the article I discontinued my practice of Centering Prayer.

Fr. Keating and authors like him are able to entrap people like me by the promise of something for literally nothing. I'm seeking a deeper prayer life. In my current condition my cognitive abilities limit what I can understand when I read. I know the writings of Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross are correct. However, they are deeper than I can go on my own. It is too bad there are no teachers as anxious to take up teaching the way of these great saints as they are the false promise of Centering Prayer.

Source: Catholic Culture : Library : A Closer Look at Centering Prayer