Award for President Clinton

I was never a fan of President Clinton when he was in office.  But it seems he has been doing some good since then.  This seems to be the presidential pattern.  A guy gets elected, then when he is out of office he does more good than when in office.

On thing I wonder though.  Why do the rich and powerful seem to think that solving problems around the world are more important than solving the problems we have here at home?  Granted, even the poor in our country live like kings compared to the ' real poor' in other countries but sometimes I suspect the actions of the rich and powerful are more for the publicity impact.  I'm not thinking of president Clinton here, I'm thinking mostly of the entertainment people who think adopting a child in another country rather than one her is more selfless or something.

 

I do not accept

I don't think I will ever accept that I had a stroke. In fact I make an effort to not accept it.  I know some people say they only look forward and that they don't look back. I won’t do that.  Just like when I was tired of being a butcher I didn’t accept that.  I did something about it and got through school and became a Software Engineer.  In life acceptance to often is an excuse for stagnation, for doing nothing.

 

I wasn't the only one there before the thief in the night, my first stroke, slithered into my life.  So, so, so many people had helped me get to where I was in my life and helped me make my life what it had become.  Everybody from my wife, my kids, and all the rest of my family and friends to teachers, counselors and even those people I I disliked or didn’t have a lot in common with.  All were partly responsible for who I was.

 

For me to say, 'I accept what happened, the past is past and I'm only looking forward, never back' is a slap in the face to each and every one of those people that helped me become who I was before the thief came. It is like saying, 'thanks for the effort everybody, but oh well.  Any future is equally as good as the last or the next’.

 
Hey I'm doing great. I have ups and downs. Sometimes I don’t think I can take another day and sometimes everything goes smooth as silk.  I'm carving out a life for myself. I'm growing and continuing my life but my past is there. Without a past there is no present, no future. To simply look forward and try to build a future, disregarding your past, is like trying to grow a fruit tree for food that has not roots.  You will quickly go hungry.

 

My strokes are there and they stole a lot from me and everybody around me. I will search for the reason like a hungry dog searching for a scrap of food. During that search; my life will continue to grow.  It will become what I and the people who are once again here for me, make of it. But no, I will never stop asking why and sit back in a Zen like or contemplative ‘false peace’.  I won’t get philosophical and giggly about “I don’t look back, always forward”. To be honest I don’t think a human person is really even capable of doing that. I think it is a lie for someone to claim it.  The reason I stroked is out there and it is going to be pursued.  Along the way my new life will rise out of my past by not denying my past.

Pelosi Visits Saudi Arabia's Council | World Latest | Guardian Unlimited

It would be wise for Speaker Pelosi to not push the issue of the lack of women in politics in Saudi Arabia. In the U.S. all the rage to think all peoples, belief systems, forms of government, religions, whatever are all the same and have equal merit. However, in Islamic countries in general and those under Sharia Law in particular that clearly cannot the case.

According to the the teaching of the Prophet Muhammad, as found in the Koran and Sharia Law which is enshrined in the Saudi Arabian Constitution, Speaker Pelosi has only half the worth of a man in society and since she is Catholic and a Kufar she should be killed. I have no doubt most of the Saudi men around her were thinking should keep her eyes down and mind her own business. (Qur'an 24:31)

"Asked if she raised the issue [of the lack no women in government] at Thursday's meeting with the council members, she said: ``The issue has been brought up in our discussions with the Saudis on
this trip.'' "

1. (Court testimony) "And call to witness, from among your men, two witnesses. And if two men be not found then a man and two women" Qur'an 2:82 [You see only the testimony of two women could take the place of the one man that could not be found.]
2. (Kufar - Unbelievers) "Now when ye meet in battle those who disbelieve [Kufar], then it is smiting of the necks until, when ye have routed them, then making fast of bonds" (Qur'an 47:4)

Pelosi Visits Saudi Arabia's Council World Latest Guardian Unlimited

Technorati tags: Nancy Pelosi

ADAM'S ALE: OF CROWN, MITERS, AND HOT DOGS

While not exactly denying His kingship, they instead ridicule His claim to kingship; make light of it, denying that it has any meaning. They do not listen or debate His ideas, they make fun of the man and destroy His message.

That is exactly what our Legislatures try do do here in Colorado every chance they get. Currently SB 124 is being pushed through our State Legislature and it will redefine what marriage in our state means. This is in direct conflict with Amendment 43 passed by the voters last November. In one of her typically elitist statements House Majority Leader Alice Madden, D-Boulder stated that Representative Kevin Lundberg, R-Larimer "did not live in the real world" because he opposed changing what marriage means and respecting the will of the people as expressed in the overwhelming passage of Amendment 43. I often wonder what "real world" Ms Madden lives in that allows her to change the will of the people simply at her whim and the with the support of her special interests.

Alice Von Hildebrand stated, “(Ridicule) was, for example, the poison tool used
against Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard, making him the butt of cruel
jokes. His noble message was doomed.”

I think Alice Madden would have been right at home with the soldiers as they crowned our Lord with thorns and destroyed His message.

ADAM'S ALE: OF CROWN, MITERS, AND HOT DOGS

Heavy Heart

A couple days ago I received an invitation to the Ordination of a very good friend of mine to the order of Catholic Deacon!

For Bill this is one of the greatest times and days of his life. It will rank up there with his marriage and the birth of his children. A new and exciting chapter is opening up in his and his family's life. It will be the culmination of over four years of intensive study and formation and a life time of preparation.

Here is the rub, why am I so sad, almost broken hearted?

Because I feel I spent the first 40 years of my life being called to be a Deacon for the Lord, in service to His Church. I spent two years going through a intense selection process just to be allowed into a 4 year formation program. I started the program with my heart full of confidence, commitment and love of the Lord and all his people.

I struggled the first year of formation mostly because my sister became gravely sick, I became her Guardian and Conservator and her teenage came came to live with us. A son that was heavily involved in drugs and gangs. A son that was kicked out of his school for threatening another teenager with a shotgun. A son that time after time brought drugs and gang bangers into our home. That is until we finally could take no more and when he snuck out of the house one night we literally barricaded the doors and windows to our home and then had all the locks changed.

Through all that my employer had me commuting between Phoenix Arizona and my home in Denver Colorado. But still I kept up my studies, did not miss classes and worked at my spiritual life. I went through every evaluation that the Diaconate Formation Board had and I scored top scores for every one.

Then after the first year, just before a retreat all the candidates were going to go on, I received a letter telling me not to go on the retreat and that I would not be asked back to continue the following year. No explanation, no thank you for attempting to give my life to the Church; just a don't show up now or in the future basically.

My heart and my faith have been ravaged by that for years. Now men that had become like brothers to me in a short period of time are about to be Ordained.

Since being told to leave formation I had my strokes, and lost the career I trained for for 9 years. Everything has become so hard. Tasks that used to take me minutes now take me hours if I can do them at all. At one time I looked forward to attempting formation again but I can barely learn at the pace of an elementary school student. There is no way I will ever be able to keep up with graduate level work.

Maybe my weakened and damaged faith is just committing the sins of jealousy, envy and pride. I was preparing to serve my God and His Church for the rest of my life. Right now I'm going to do therapy which includes tasks I haven't done since Elementary School. But yet I can't master them!

Technorati tags: Stroke Recovery, Stroke

Why I Ride

For me riding isn't about the pain like it is for a lot of cycling fanatics.  Sure I feel it and it is a part of my riding.  If at the end of a ride I have not felt at least some pain I feel like I should have ridden farther or harder.  But I also feel it is a great accomplishment if I can finish a long ride at a good pace and a few minutes later I feel like I could do it all over again.  To me that is a thrill.

Riding for me has also become about freedom, victory and recapturing the former me while building up the new me.  

Most importantly by riding and doing certain things I am beating to death that bastard stroke that 1 year, 5 months and 17 nights ago came like a low life 'thief in the night'.  Little did the thief know that by calling on me, it had 'bought the whole can of whoop-ass', not just a free sample for the taking.  It was not just taking me on; it had encountered an army of dedicated and fiercely loyal family, friends and medical professionals.

I can beat the crap out of the thief by doing things I did before it slithered into my life; before so much was stolen, for no reason at all.  I whip the thief by simply doing things as well as I can and not worrying about how I used to do them.

Riding is about freedom for several reasons.  One of those reasons is that I will probably never drive again.  I hope I will but some things are just as they are.  People whose mental processing is as slow as mine, have lost half their vision and whose brain has shifted the midline of the real world by many degrees, usually don't get licensed to drive a 2000 pound hunk of steel through neighborhood streets.   I have to rely on family and friends to get me around.  Someday when I want to do something simple like go to the grocery store I will simply get on my bike and go.  That day is actually pretty close; one more stake in the heart of that thief.

The Thief took so much of my memory that I don't even recognize my own neighborhood and house.  I have lived in my neighborhood for 46 years and I have gotten lost walking around in my home.  Thank God after a time I recognized my beautiful, wonderful wife and the rest of my family and friends; POW another stake driven into the heart of the thief.

My wife helps me 'memorize' bike routes by riding them over and over and drilling landmarks into my memory.  When I’m able to ride a memorized route alone, that is a victory over the thief.  When I was able to follow a list of directions and put a computer on my bike, even though it took me several hours and a couple of re-starts; that was a victory over the thief.  When I exercise and eat right so that chances of more strokes or heart decease are minimized that is a victory over the thief.  When my loved ones and friends spend less time worrying about my health and well being and living their lives to the fullest that is a victory over the thief. POW, POW, POW and POW four more stakes and more to come.

Cycling encourages me and helps me do all those things.  It is to the point where cycling affects everything from my diet and sleep to the cognitive therapy my therapists give me.  Cycling affects what I can go do and when I can go do it.  I have woven cycling into almost every aspect of my recovery and my life.

So now everyone has a bit of an idea of why I ride. 

P.S. Don’t worry if you see a red flare off in the distance. It just means that StrokeBoy took a wrong turn and is temporarily lost. Awesome Chick will release the bloodhounds and I’ll be found in no time.

 

Technorati tags: Stroke Recovery, National Stroke Association

Musical Update

I now can recognize the notes A, B, C, D, F and G on the musical staff and I know the fingerings and an alternate fingering for B. I've attempted to play ' When the Saints Go Marching In' with a small bit of success. I played it for Awesome Chick and when I was done I told her what it was. She quickly responded something like "Oh yeah it took me just a second but I knew what it was." She is such a kind person.

Today was the day I learned F. This is the first note that will require me to finger with both hands. Previously all notes I've played have been done with just the left hand.

I've noticed that repetition, repetition, repetition is the key to remembering my notes and fingering. I also find that if I practice two or three times per day for like 10 minutes it is more productive than one long 30 minute session. The biggest problem I face is that the "interface" between me, the music on the sheet and the fingers on the Recorder is VERY slow. Unfortunately that interface is my damaged brain. To see a note on the staff, recognize what that note is, remember what the fingering for that note is and get my fingers into position is a very very loooooong time.

I am fortunate that I come from a VERY musically gifted family. Both of my parents have Bachelors Degrees in Music Theory and my Dad also has a Masters in Childhood Education. He was a teacher for 30 years. Several times I've been stuck on something and asking them gets me unstuck. One idea my dad had that was REALLY helpful was to start out by putting numbers for the number of fingers a note requires to be played below the note on the page. This helped me just concentrate on learning the fingering and I gradually started to recognize the notes and I could do away with the fingering hints.

Well I'm off to go practice "my music". Jingle Bells is the next song I get to massacre.

Information about Recorders

Intermediate Goals

I'm beginning to seriously think of intermediate goals that I would like to meet on the way to my July 7-8 MS-150 attempt.

I first started on an indoor trainer 15 minutes per day, three days per week. When I started with CTS roughly 10 weeks ago I started training 4 days per week. I had to do all my rides on the indoor trainer as I wasn't conditioned enough to ride on the road. Then I began to ride the first "portion" of my rides outside and finished them up inside on the trainer. I gradually increased the amount of time outside and decreased the amount of time inside. My very first goal became to be able to ride outside 4 full workouts in one week.

This week I achieved that goal, or at least I expect to. It is only Thursday and I have 3 days left to get my 4th ride of the week in. So with that in mind I've come up with the following intermediate goals.

W/E Apr 1	4 rides 4.5 hours	Achieved
W/E Apr 8	4 rides, 4.5 hours	Stay here while I get used to new bike and gearing, I went from a triple to double chain ring.
W/E Apr 15	5 rides, 5 hours
W/E Apr 22	6 rides 5.5 hours
W/E Apr 29	6 rides 6 hours

This leaves me with the entire months of May and June to increase the number of hours that I ride each week using a 6 ride per week plan. As I've noted before, my goal is to be fit enough to finish the ride and enjoy the entire thing. I have more lofty goals in mind after this one.

House Heats Up Over Bill to Give Illegal Immigrants In-State Tuition - washingtonpost.com

In this piece an irrational Democrat Melvin L. Stukes becomes irrational and compares refusing citizen rights to Illegal Aliens, to being a black slave in the 19th century.  What a slap in the face to African Americans that can truly trace their ancestry to slaves.  What a cowardly and back handed way to "play the race card" in a way it should not be played.  It's interesting how "undocumented immigrants" as the article calls aliens who are here illegally have no problem documenting they have lived and worked in the state of Maryland for a time when it means getting discounted tuition rates.

"Do I need anyone to remind me of the mind-set that existed then and still exists today, that some people were considered three-fifths of a human being?" Stukes asked, his voice rising. "Are we still saying that some people are less than whole? I don't think so."

Source: House Heats Up Over Bill to Give Illegal Immigrants In-State Tuition - washingtonpost.com

 

del.icio.us tags: Illegal Immigration

Technorati tags: Illegal Immigration

Catholic Group Wants Marquette Prof. Reassigned

 I suppose Daniel Maguire would argue that the Holy Spirit couldn't pass a theology exam.  It is the duty of the Churches Magisterium to faithfully and without error pass on and interpret Church doctrine in matters of faith and morals.  (CCC 890)  Mr. Maguire does not have any protection from error in his teachings.  In fact his teachings can be completely false and come from the devil himself and he and no other theologian has any charism of protection from error or inspiration by the Holy Spirit.  Come on Maguire, if you don't believe what Holy Mother Church teaches go shopping in the cafeteria and find something that better suits your current flavor of the day.

"I've always felt that candor was the better part of valor," he said. "The bishops are saying they are the only authentic teachers in the church and that all theologians are subordinate to them. But most bishops could not pass a graduate exam in theology."

Source: wfrv.com - Catholic Group Wants Marquette Prof. Reassigned

 

Technorati tags: Marquette University, Catechism of the Catholic Church

Tony Snow

I've enjoyed watching this guy for years. He's smart and logical in his thinking. He's once again fighting cancer. You can go to the White House and leave a message for him. click It is on the upper right hand of the page.

Music to my ears.... Oh Really?

This post is a follow up of my (click here earlier post). That post is dated yesterday but I posted it a couple weeks ago. Yesterday I realized it was posted as a draft though so I "undrafted" it.

Anyway the first song I play on my recorder was to be 'When the Saints Go Marching In'. Well according to the music notes and my fingering that is exactly what I did. It sure didn't sound like any version of that song I have ever heard. YUK! Our two Beagles started baying like the Hounds of the Baskerville. I thought I was Basil Rathbone in the old movie.

Oh well that's the point of trying to find something fun and interesting as well as therapeutic. You don't mind going back to it as much when at first you don't succeed.

Feeling good today

I feel pretty good today considering I had a hard ride yesterday. The adrenaline of being on a new bike I think caused me to push myself a bit hard. I rode all the way to Golf Course Hill at Fox Hollow Golf Course. I actually couldn't make it up the hill, I only got half way up. The reason is conditioning and the Opal only has two chain rings. Welcome to the big legues!

I was also a bit sore today, in a good way. I can tell my body isn't used to the new geometry of the Opal. I also heeded the WRC persons advice and concentrated on keeping my shoulders down, back flat, bend at the hips and elbows bent.

By the way, this is a picture of my new ride.

Unbeliculously Great Maiden Voyage

This post actually begins last Friday morning or maybe even Thursday. You see all day Thursday I was PMS'ing, Pre-Migraine Syndrome. My strokes were kind enough to leave me with frequent migraines but I know when they are coming on because ahead of the big ones I have what they call non-specific seizures and sometimes I even see little Oompa Loompas. When the Oompa Loompas come to visit I know it's time to hunker down because most of the time a real head banger, brain searing migraine is about to come on. This time though Mr and Mrs Loompa were wrong. So, I woke up Friday morning to find I was feeling pretty good and my wife, Awesome Chick, who from now on will be known as THE Awesome Chick had stayed home from work. I thought it was because she was concerned about me. That was until she practically bulldozed me into getting showered and out the door. You see she knows the problems I've been having with my 10 year old bike that doesn't fit and I can't get replacement parts for.

She took the day off to take me around town looking at and test riding bikes I had been reading about and looking at in bike shops and generally drooling over for the past three years. What I didn't know is that she had received a nice bonus at work and she intended to use it to get her StrokeBoy a new ride!

The sales lady at the bike shop we ended up at was great. We had a fun time and laughed a lot because I could only go up and down the sidewalk in front of the store on my test rides or I'd get lost. On top of that my short term memory is so bad I couldn't remember one test ride from another. I can recreate a lot of things like this because I'm constantly writing in a journal and I have a small digital voice recorder I dictate my day into. So we worked out a system of the sales lady taking notes of exactly what I said when I got of the bike, I would use my recorder and Awesome Chick would take digital pictures of me riding for me to look at and jog my brain into remembering what the ride was like. Well anyway Friday extended into Saturday and Sunday but when it was all said and done I had my new ride. Awesome Chick got me an Orbea Opal, full Dura Ace, Mavic Ksyrium wheel set and new shoes.

Today was the Maiden Voyage. I feel like I went from driving a VW Bug to a Lambragini. I'm used to a triple so the double chain ring showed me I have some work to do on my strength. But hey I have a lot of time. Now maybe I'll be able to keep up with Awesome Chick when we ride. She got her bike a couple years ago.

Stroke Boy

P.S. Unbeliculous is a word my wife and I made up. We were always saying things like "that's unbelievable" or "that's ridiculous" so we combined the two. Unbeliculously Great translates to "unbelievably, ridiculously great".

Music to My Ears

OK, anybody who has read more than one of my posts knows that I can't stand the exercises that my cognitive therapists give me. I do them because they have a purpose but I look, and I look very hard for things that I can do that I enjoy and will provide a theraputic component.Well I found one that is GRRRRrrrrreat; as Tony the Tiger would say.I went to a music store not 10 minutes from my house and purchased a Yamaha Baroque Recorder. That sounds fancy but it's not. Anybody who has kids in elementary school that take band may be familiar with it. The thing only cost $10 and I got a book called 'Fun with the Recorder' to teach me to play it. When I got it I didn't realize just how it would affect me congnitively. I have to memorize notes, the musical staff, fingering etc. It has been VERY slow going. The book is for elementary school kids. What is 1 lesson for them may take me two weeks to get through. It is so cool though. I haven't played a "song" but I'm playing notes. The first song I should be able to play in the book is 'When the Saints Go Marching In'. Anyway for an investment of $17 for a musical instrument and book I have hours of productive cognitive therapy that is interesting, fun and I can do something with. I hope to be able to play some Christmas Carrols for Christmas and there are tons of classical pieces and Celtic pieces.I'll keep everyone posted but for now, if anyone can do it this is GREAT therapy.

New start to cognitive therapy

Today I started back at Cognitive Therapy. I haven't been for quite a while for various reasons. I like my therapist and I told her some of the things I've been doing on my own and she thought they were great. But, she gave me the same old basic word search, maps and other junk that I got before. She wants me to do this stuff and when I go back in two weeks she will hopefully have something more suited to me.

Barack Hussein Obama: Once a Muslim, Always A Muslim

 

Link to Debbie Schlussel

 

It is very obvious why Barack Obama does not want to admit he is Muslim.  It will cost him votes.  The media is trying to make a villain Romney because he is Mormon, imagine if Obama admitted to being Muslim.  There is also another reason.  For a Muslim to leave the faith is a death sentence in traditional Islam.

"But whoever of you recants and dies an unbeliever, his works shall come to nothing in this world and the next, and they are the  companions of the fire for ever" (Qur'an 2:217).  This is interpreted by traditional Muslims as giving the death penalty to apostates.  What would happen if we elect a President that millions of Muslims believe must be executed?

A down day

Well not really a down day but I'm still wiped out from my class on Saturday. When I do a training ride on my bike two days in a row I'm always very tired the next day. It's amazing how much more mental work can wipe me out than physical work. All I wanted to do today was sit around, sleep and of course eat.Awesome Chick knew I was having a hard time and she knew I was supposed to ride my bike today and she also knew that if I just get on my bike and go I always feel better after a few minutes. So what did she do? She left work early and came home and encouraged me to get on my bike, she even rode with me. She was right, by the time I had ridden two blocks I was feeling like I wanted to ride for hours. I'm so blessed to have a great wife and also that I still have my physical abilities.

Liturgy of the Hours Class

Yesterday, that was Saturday, I went to class on the Liturgy of the Hours (LOH) at my parents parish. It is also called The Divine Office or simply Christian Prayer. The LOH is a form a prayer that dates back to the first Christians. I started doing it about 8 years ago. There are a couple links below for anybody who wants to know more. I also went with my parents. It was a day long class and it was the first time I was in a "class" setting since my strokes. On the positive side I was able to last just past lunch before I had to leave. That was about 3 hours of class time. On the negative I didn't make it the entire day.

I noticed that a class and lecturer moving at a normal pace is too fast for me now days. I'm still wiped out today. We went to Mass and lunch and that is about all I could handle. I just got up from a 3 hour nap and I can hardly wait to get back to bed tonight.

Information
Encyclopedia

Field Test - Where's the O2 ?

Today was the big day, my second Field Test! My big plans of doing it outside got shot down but that's only temporary. Once I have more practice and get off the blood thinners it's off the trainer and on the road full time for me; at least while the whether is good.

I was really happy with my results. I worked a lot harder this time but only because I was capable of working harder. If I had anything left to give I don't know where it was. When I got off the trainer each time I felt like I was trying suck every single molecule of oxygen out of the room and get it to my muscles before my legs collapsed.

I recovered real well. My stats on the second 8 minute interval were actually better than the first and both were far better than the last time I did a FT at the end of January.
Previous FT
Interval 1Elapsed Time : 00:08:00
Average BPM : 144
Maximum BPM : 158
Average Cadence : 94
Perceived Exertion: 8

Interval 2
Elapsed Time : 00:08:00
Average BPM : 141
Maximum BPM : 150
Average Cadence : 89
Perceived Exertion: 8

This FT
Interval 1
Elapsed Time : 00:08:00
Average BPM : 153
Maximum BPM : 173
Average Cadence : 95
Perceived Exertion: 9 - very difficult
Interval 2
Elapsed Time : 00:08:00
Average BPM : 158
Maximum BPM : 176
Average Cadence : 100
Perceived Exertion: 9 - very difficult